Have We Forgotten?

"You know what I would do if I were in your place?
I'd drink from the milk basin of the Milky Way; I'd swallow comets; I'd lunch on dawn; I'd dine on day and I'd sup on night;
I'd invite myself, splendid table-companion that I am, to the banquet of all the glories, and I'd salute God as my host!
I'd work up a magnificent hunger, an enormous thirst, and I'd race through the drunken spaces between the spheres singing the fearsome drinking song of eternity."
victor hugo

I was at the alpha6 thanksgiving dinner just now. Didn't intend to sit through the sharing sessions but I'm glad I did. I heard the testimonies of some new believers and I think they've received and understood revelations of God that took me 5 years to grasp. I pray that their zeal in finding Christ isn't dampened by 'experienced' Christians.

Sometimes I wonder. Have we forgotten how to praise God? Have we lost fire and passion of knowing Jesus. Have we lost the impact of simple praise songs that spoke of the greatness of God. Have we left those songs in sunday school and dismissed them like we've dismissed the tooth fairy and Santa Claus? When was the last time you've gotten excited about God?

I got excited when Manchester United beat Chelsea in penelties this week and I was throwing punches in the air and shouting "Yeah!". (I didn't literally shout because it was about 5am.) But you understand what it means to get excited! Your heart begins to pump faster and you feel a rush! Is that only reserved for football or whatever things you get excited about? We've always talked about having a passion for Christ. Shouldn't we be making some noise when we praise?

Must we really be reminded by new believers? I mean, its good that they remind us! But shouldn't we, the experienced ones be showing them. THIS IS HOW ITS DONE! Although the quote by Victor Hugo was apparently spoken during a seance with the spirit of Galileo, I think it phrases the experience that a believer should have in being a child of God. It also brings to mind Psalm 23.

Do we have reason to rejoice? I just visited some other blogs and I'm just amazed at the goodness of God to all of us.

Benjamin: "I rejoice that i have this stunning relationship with God..:D"
Charmaine: "OH YES! THE DOCTOR SAYS I AM WELL! (:"
Eileen: "His presence is so soothing, it wipes away every last streak of weariness."
Elissa: "He is a God who gives and gives and gives and gives."
Georgina: "...in the evening, money flew into my letter box."
Michelle: "Yay my exams are over!"
Patricia: "Thank God for providing the venue for us, Meritus Mandarin..."
Wendy: "Thanks for your lovessss... I am doing much better now."

What is my reason to rejoice? I rejoice that God's will for me is not restricted by my shortcomings! I rejoice that I am always able to pick myself up carry on. Tomorrow I'm playing the drums for worship service. I'm going to show God just what I think of Him; I'm going to play my heart out. Won't you praise Him with me?

To Write Love On Her Arms

by jamie tworkowski

Pedro the Lion is loud in the speakers, and the city waits just outside our open windows. She sits and sings, legs crossed in the passenger seat, her pretty voice hiding in the volume. Music is a safe place and Pedro is her favorite. It hits me that she won't see this skyline for several weeks, and we will be without her. I lean forward, knowing this will be written, and I ask what she'd say if her story had an audience. She smiles. "Tell them to look up. Tell them to remember the stars."

I would rather write her a song, because songs don't wait to resolve, and because songs mean so much to her. Stories wait for endings, but songs are brave things bold enough to sing when all they know is darkness. These words, like most words, will be written next to midnight, between hurricane and harbor, as both claim to save her.

Renee is 19. When I meet her, cocaine is fresh in her system. She hasn't slept in 36 hours and she won't for another 24. It is a familiar blur of coke, pot, pills and alcohol. She has agreed to meet us, to listen and to let us pray. We ask Renee to come with us, to leave this broken night. She says she'll go to rehab tomorrow, but she isn't ready now. It is too great a change. We pray and say goodbye and it is hard to leave without her.

She has known such great pain; haunted dreams as a child, the near-constant presence of evil ever since. She has felt the touch of awful naked men, battled depression and addiction, and attempted suicide. Her arms remember razor blades, fifty scars that speak of self-inflicted wounds. Six hours after I meet her, she is feeling trapped, two groups of "friends" offering opposite ideas. Everyone is asleep. The sun is rising. She drinks long from a bottle of liquor, takes a razor blade from the table and locks herself in the bathroom. She cuts herself, using the blade to write "FUCK UP" large across her left forearm.

The nurse at the treatment center finds the wound several hours later. The center has no detox, names her too great a risk, and does not accept her. For the next five days, she is ours to love. We become her hospital and the possibility of healing fills our living room with life. It is unspoken and there are only a few of us, but we will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to meet her needs, to write love on her arms.

She is full of contrast, more alive and closer to death than anyone I've known, like a Johnny Cash song or some theatre star. She owns attitude and humor beyond her 19 years, and when she tells me her story, she is humble and quiet and kind, shaped by the pain of a hundred lifetimes. I sit privileged but breaking as she shares. Her life has been so dark yet there is some soft hope in her words, and on consecutive evenings, I watch the prettiest girls in the room tell her that she's beautiful. I think it's God reminding her.

I've never walked this road, but I decide that if we're going to run a five-day rehab, it is going to be the coolest in the country. It is going to be rock and roll. We start with the basics; lots of fun, too much Starbucks and way too many cigarettes.

Thursday night she is in the balcony for Band Marino, Orlando's finest. They are indie-folk-fabulous, a movement disguised as a circus. She loves them and she smiles when I point out the A&R man from Atlantic Europe, in town from London just to catch this show.

She is in good seats when the Magic beat the Sonics the next night, screaming like a lifelong fan with every Dwight Howard dunk. On the way home, we stop for more coffee and books, Blue Like Jazz and (Anne Lamott's) Travelling Mercies.

On Saturday, the Taste of Chaos tour is in town and I'm not even sure we can get in, but doors do open and minutes after parking, we are on stage for Thrice, one of her favorite bands. She stands ten feet from the drummer, smiling constantly. It is a bright moment there in the music, as light and rain collide above the stage. It feels like healing. It is certainly hope.

Sunday night is church and many gather after the service to pray for Renee, this her last night before entering rehab. Some are strangers but all are friends tonight. The prayers move from broken to bold, all encouraging. We're talking to God but I think as much, we're talking to her, telling her she's loved, saying she does not go alone. One among us knows her best. Ryan sits in the corner strumming an acoustic guitar, singing songs she's inspired.

After church our house fills with friends, there for a few more moments before goodbye. Everyone has some gift for her, some note or hug or piece of encouragement. She pulls me aside and tells me she would like to give me something. I smile surprised, wondering what it could be. We walk through the crowded living room, to the garage and her stuff.

She hands me her last razor blade, tells me it is the one she used to cut her arm and her last lines of cocaine five nights before. She's had it with her ever since, shares that tonight will be the hardest night and she shouldn't have it. I hold it carefully, thank her and know instantly that this moment, this gift, will stay with me. It hits me to wonder if this great feeling is what Christ knows when we surrender our broken hearts, when we trade death for life.

As we arrive at the treatment center, she finishes: "The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."

I have watched life come back to her, and it has been a privilege. When our time with her began, someone suggested shifts but that is the language of business. Love is something better. I have been challenged and changed, reminded that love is that simple answer to so many of our hardest questions. Don Miller says we're called to hold our hands against the wounds of a broken world, to stop the bleeding. I agree so greatly.

We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love. I have seen that this week and honestly, it has been simple: Take a broken girl, treat her like a famous princess, give her the best seats in the house. Buy her coffee and cigarettes for the coming down, books and bathroom things for the days ahead. Tell her something true when all she's known are lies. Tell her God loves her. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. All these things are true.

We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home.

I have learned so much in one week with one brave girl. She is alive now, in the patience and safety of rehab, covered in marks of madness but choosing to believe that God makes things new, that He meant hope and healing in the stars. She would ask you to remember.

Feeling Vs. Faith

I mentioned in my last post that as believers, we should not be affected by the way we feel. Sometimes emotions might go haywire because of lack of sleep, lack of sugar, lack of adrenalin, unfairness, anger and so on, but thats ok because we are not dependant on them. We need to recognise that the body feels certain ways because thats the way it was designed to respond. Deal with the problem the best you can and keep on praising God. You may not realise it but sometimes praising God is the best way to deal with the problem!

I believe that was what Paul was trying to say when He was writing the letter to the Roman believers. He repeats quite a few times in these few paragraphs.

Verse 4 "... who walk NOT according to the flesh but according to the spirit.
Verse 6 "To set the mind on the flesh is death..."
Verse 7 "For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; INDEED, IT CANNOT!"
Verse 8 "Those who are in the flesh cannot please God"
Verse 13 "For if you live according to the flesh you will die..."

So simply from these verses stated here, we can draw the conclusion that FLESH = BAD! When we are dependant on our emotions, we also tend to give in to our flesh.
So how? (Pardon my Singaporean)

The typical response that most Christians would be to live right! Don't live according to the flesh! Abstain from evil, resist the devil, love one another, wash your hands, and a 101 other ways to live a victorious Christian life! That sounds good. It really does! But unfortunately, that is not the key. Sorry to burst your bubble. Because it doesn't last.

Daryl, are you refuting basic bible truths? No I'm not.

Paul himself said it! If we are in the flesh, we cannot please God. We cannot or are unable to obey the law! Where else does the bible talk about being unable to please God?
In Hebrews 11:6 "...And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him."
Here we can draw another equation! Just like in Maths.
Flesh != Faith (Being in the flesh is NOT being in faith!)

Do you know that it is possible to do good things without being in faith? Another way of putting it is that we do good in the flesh? We do it because it is a requirement. Or we do it so that it adds a point to our resume of good works. Or we are like Job who offered sacrifices daily just in case his children sinned.
Many of us believe that God exists but we don't believe He rewards those who seek Him. Or we believe He is a lousy rewarder! Do we have a lousy god? No way!

Anyway, here lies the secret to a successful life. If we don't want to live according to the flesh and fail everytime we attempt to live right, then the secret is to have a relationship with Jesus Christ.
Romans 8:10 says "But if Christ is in you... ... the spirit is life because of righteousness"
Verse 11 "If the Spirit of the him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He... ...will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you."

Lets look at this logically. If flesh is bad, spirit is good! If flesh leads to death, spirit leads to life. So to live according to the spirit means to live in faith. And to live in faith, according to Hebrews 11:6 is to believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him. This is faith in action. This means that living according to the spirit is not dependant on how we feel or the circumstances around us.

This is part of drawing near to God. Service to God must always come after we know what it is to draw near to Him. It has to start from the basis of a relationship with Jesus. Some people might misinterpret what I'm going to say here but I'll say it anyway. No believer should be begged to serve. Excellent service is always the result of an attitude of gratitude and a heart of love.

Unfortunately, because of the needs of churches, people are thrust into positions of service before they have had a time to develop such a relationship. But that is another issue for another day.

~~~ Fire ~~~
There's a fire that burns in me
That the world will never change
There's a fire that burns in me
His name is Jesus

Brighter and brighter
Consume my whole life
So I burn
Brighter and brighter for you
Abundant Life Church - Send Me

Apple Of Your Eye

He does not withdraw his eyes from the righteous, but with kings on the throne He sets them forever, and they are exalted.
- Job 36:7 -

Life can sometimes be strange. Most of the time, after a busy day in church, I would feel satisfied. I would feel content because I'm serving God. But today i just feel tired. No surprise since I've been up since 7:30AM. Led worship for Sunday School, then led worship for 2nd Service. Played futsal at East Coast after lunch. Usually, I would feel as if I had achieved something. But today, despite some good testimonies, I feel drained. I think its because of futsal with Larry's friends and then walking all the way home from East Coast Park.

I am thankful that God doesn't come and go according to my emotions and how I feel. Because right now, I feel tired and empty. Our relationship with God or with other people should never be based on emotions. I couldn't feel further from God right now. Yet I know for a fact that He loves me despite my lousy mood.

I thank God that He showed me this verse from Job 36:7.
Father God... Thank You that I'm still the apple of your eye. Even when I feel ineffective, I know that I'm set with the King on the throne and I'm exalted together with You. I will not waver, I will not be diverted. I believe that you are proud of me and I choose to praise You. Amen!

I am awestruck by the poignant imagery in the lyrics of Oh, Sleeper. Forgive me if I've been talking too much about them. Their lyrics and music inspire me so much. I would like to explain more about what the lyrics mean to me. Refer to the last post to see the lyrics. You might even want to open it in another window by clicking here.

The first verse talks about having a life run by an oppressive, harsh ruler. The singer portrays this with many repeating vocals. It signifies confusion and disorder. Just like the life that doesn't have the one true God on the throne. The 'god' that most people have, takes away from people. He claims their joy, their money, their family, their dreams, their life.

The first chorus is a like a war cry to look at the big picture. It is a war cry to destroy the works of the devil's hold over our lives. This single line in the song made me look up the role of our God as the destroyer.

JESUS THE DESTROYER
Get To Know Him

Psalm 143:12*
And in your steadfast love you will cut off my enemies, and you will destroy all the adversaries of my soul, for I am your servant.

Psalm 145:20
The LORD preserves all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy.

1 Corinthians 15:24-26
Then comes the end, when he delivers the kingdom to God the Father after destroying every rule and every authority and power.
For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet.
The last enemy to be destroyed is death.

Ephesians 2:14-16
For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility
by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace,
and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility.

Hebrews 2:14-15
Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery.

James 4:12
There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy.

1 John 3:8
The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil.

Revelations 17:17-18
"We give thanks to you, Lord God Almighty, who is and who was, for you have taken your great power and begun to reign.
The nations raged, but your wrath came, and the time for the dead to be judged, and for rewarding your servants, the prophets and saints, and those who fear your name, both small and great, and for destroying the destroyers of the earth."

I am a big football fan and I love how football is able to bring strangers together onto a pitch and unite people to a single purpose. Sometimes in the process of meeting new people, you may chance across a few people who are so skilful, fast or strong that you can't help but think to yourself, "I'm glad he's on my side!"
Can you see the Wrath of God in these verses? Can you see that His Wrath is not directed at us anymore? He uses it against those who come against us. I'm glad I'm on the same side as Him!

The chorus goes on to say, "plant the seeds to reclaim victory." Can you see the symbolism here?

Mark 4:26
And he said, "The kingdom of God is as if a man should scatter seed on the ground.

Mark 4:30-31
And he said, "With what can we compare the kingdom of God, or what parable shall we use for it? It is like a grain of mustard seed, which, when sown on the ground, is the smallest of all the seeds on earth…”

In verse 14 of this same chapter, Jesus says that a sower sows the Word. The seed is the Word.
Plant the seeds to reclaim victory! That is the rebuilding process!

The next phrase catches my attention. You cannot find content in the arms of constrictors. Growth cannot occur in an environment of doubt, disbelief or condemnation. Have we become constrictors to younger believers? Are we people who facilitate growth?
Are we so content with what we have that change cannot occur?
God has given us His image imprinted on a heart of flesh.

Ezekiel 36:26-27
And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. (27) And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.

Obedience sparks off miracles. When you obey what the LORD says. The way to achieve it is opened. You made the waves to meet my foot. Just like Jesus did for Peter.
The reference to the bishop is made in a previous song, "His Name Was Bishop", in the album. About how greed, pride and lust cause him to fall.
The archers are also referenced in another song. "We Are The Archers"
They are portrayed as reinforcements from the Captain (God).

~~~Building the Nations~~~
I've found the pit to find yourself surrounded.
To the husbands and daughters, brides and sons,
You put a tyrannic terror up on his throne.
He's collecting blood like diamonds from all.
Behind this door we face a war... its claiming more.

Step back and take a look around you because we will...
DESTROY! REBUILD! Plant the seeds to reclaim victory!
On this day we will...
DESTROY! REBUILD! Plant the seeds to reclaim victory!

Though struggle we'll press on.
Mark my words, you cant find comfort in the arms of constrictors.
Lift back the scabs of content and prepare for change.
The doors swing wide, and we're drawn inside.
The gold stained bones give off the light.

Oh, I found your prints on a fleshy pulse.
You made the waves to meet my foot
And all the siren songs that ring on and on and on.
I watched your vipers bring down the bishop and bait the chains to leave me hit.

Well I've brought all the archers, we lit all the pyres, and we've come to...
DESTROY! REBUILD! Plant the seeds to reclaim victory!
On this day we will...
DESTROY! REBUILD! Plant the seeds to reclaim victory!

Through struggle we press on...
We are the army of the far from perfect.
This is the call to tear down and rebuild this world.
| Oh, Sleeper - When I am God |

Today is the first monday out of school. Although its the term break for the rest of the Rhema, I still miss school and my classmates. My 2nd year has been definitely more enjoyable because of the dynamics of the class. There are more people in the room because they've combined the 1st and 2nd year students into one class.

There are so many things to think about and consider when doing life. Its getting slightly overwhelming. If I cannot rely on God totally, then I would simply crash and burn. If my relying on Him signifies laziness then I'm lost already. My life belongs to Him and is devoted to Him because I know no other way.

Daryl, don't try to piece everything together. You'll just make a mess of things. The way I gave you the glimpses of the different fragments of your life to come. The same way will I bring them into fruition. I will bring them to pass.
Keep your heart right, Keep your heart after me.

Untame Your Tongue

JAMES 3:1-13
I’ve always heard James 3:1-13 being preached or taught as taming the tongue. Most of the people that I’ve talked to seem to agree with this stand. Even the heading of this passage in my bible states "Taming the Tongue".

I was just meditating on the words during a teaching session. While reading the passage, it began to dawn on me. Where does it actually say to 'tame the tongue'? James doesn't ever use the words 'taming the tongue'. In fact, in verse 8, he states that "...no human being can tame the tongue."

People would then reply, "no man can, but God can!"
My question is then, why would He want to? When God created man in the beginning, He gave Himself a pat on the back! The whole man was good.
"And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good." Genesis 1:31

So why does James say such negative things about the tongue? Is he really speaking negatives about the tongue? In verse 2, he says that the Perfect (mature) Man does not stumble in what He says and is also able to bridle His whole body. To me, this is a picture of Jesus. Only Jesus was faultless with His words. James seems to be setting the benchmark here in his half-brother, Jesus.
"Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ," Ephesians 4:15
Paul also seems to agree with James that the tongue should be used to speak the truth in love and thus result in us becoming more like Christ.

In verse 3-5, James is making the point that the size of the tongue in relation to the rest of the body does not determine the power which it holds. He does say that bits and rudders do direct the power.

Lets jump to verse 9-11. James says that a 2 different things cannot come from one source. Fresh water and bitter water can come from the same source. Fig trees cannot bear olives, grapevines cannot bear figs. What does this mean? Get rid of the bitter water! Bear the fruit which you were meant to bear! Do what you were meant to do.

Lets look through the passage again. This time taking out the negatives of the tongue and using it to do what it was meant to.

So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire and no one can tame the tongue. With it we bless our Lord and Father. From the mouth comes blessing.

No one can tame the tongue. It remains wild and powerful. Its power cannot be lost but it can be directed. By speaking forth the Word, the tongue remains powerful and achieves something. It remains wild for His use. The great things in verse 5 refer to grand things, things that are done on a grand scale. It also refers to God's preeminent blessings.

Let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Ephesians 4:25,29

The Truth, with love builds up.

It does not make any sense to me how the clarity of the Word of God can be disputed.
If you take away the goodness of God, then I have to admit that I don't really know Him.
If what I've heard today is true, then it takes away my desire to serve Him.
I cannot serve a God like that. It actually hurt me physically to hear such lies about my Jesus.

But He isn't like that.
So I will not stop serving Him.
I must worship.

I cannot help but want to know Jesus. Not because He suffered the same things AS me but because He suffered them FOR me. We've been learning about Jesus, the man of sorrows who travelled Via Dolorosa, the road of suffering. He suffered for my sake. That is what makes Him different from any other god. Not because He merely identifies with us, but because He has invested ALL He had in us. He has imputed power and grace to us.

I want to know the Jesus who overcame the things I go through and through the Holy Spirit, teaches me to do the same. The God who compelled wise men to travel miles to bow and offer gifts. The Jesus whom shepherds came to pay homage to, to marvel at and praise God because they saw the example of the angels. The Jesus whom the prophets in the temple recognised when He was a baby, gave thanks for and boasted of to the rest of Jerusalem.

The young boy, Jesus, who grew and became strong and wise in the favour of the Lord. So wise that He went on to amaze the teachers in the temple with His questions. After which He continued to grow in wisdom and favour with God and men.

I want to know the Jesus whom John the baptist preached about. The Jesus who would fill the valleys and make the mountains low. The Jesus who would straighten the crooked places and level out the rough ones. The Jesus who would suffer in the wilderness only to come out stronger because He was holding on to the Word, "You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased."

The Jesus who was anointed with Holy Spirit to heal the sick, restore limbs, cast out evil spirits, cleanse the lepers, make the blind see, and the deaf hear. The Jesus who preached good news to the poor. The Jesus who spoke with authority, healed with authority, and had authority to give when He sent out His disciples. Jesus who came to seek and save the Lost.

Jesus who was persecuted because attention seeking Jews could not keep up with Him or the miracles He wrought. Persecuted by those who knew the law but not the power. Rejected by those who were waiting for the Messiah but did not recognise Him.

This Jesus who taught moral absolutes, Who looked at the heart rather than mere actions. Who cared for people more than customs. Who would rebuke the winds and waves and have them be silent. Jesus who knew the Father and introduced us to Him.

Jesus who flourished in life as the First Minister of the Good News, yet gave it all up only on the cross. But only for 3 days because He was an overcomer of death, poverty, sickness and sin. Because He took back all that Satan stole and made it available again to us. Praise God!!!

And I, when I came to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.
1 Corinthians 2:1-5

~~~ (That) Hideous Strength ~~~
Oh, that I could scream
And the world would stop and listen
And these scars could speak in volumes
But who has ears to hear
Or eyes to see
Again I scream
But my voice is buried in an unearthly silence
Like in nightmares when ghosts steal your breath.
I pray that power be not in my words
But in truth that supercedes the mind of man,
and our dead hope, and our blind faith in means that
look to justify the ends.
With out you I am lost.
Let mine eyes not fail with looking upward
| Thrice - If We Could Only See Us Now |

OH YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES !!!!!!!!!!!!
Praise God!!!

I don't know how many of you actually like the video I posted previously. I'm getting so much out of their lyrics! It may or may not be the actual meaning of the songs but I love how God speaks to me from the lyrics. The lyrics from this song remind me of Paul. His experience with Jesus on the road to Damascus. The 2nd part also reminds me of Ananias questioning God's choice. The 3rd part is simply a revelation of Grace from God to us.

There's nothing like hardcore music screaming scripture to you. Click here to check out more songs from Oh, Sleeper at their myspace page.

~~~ Charlatan's Host ~~~
Sleep takes its hold with a sinking pull. And now that I'm alone, this burst of light
fills my lids and I'm awake to the songs of horror. Your ill-bought greatness, he's seen it all from the frame.
One day you'll reap the seeds of a shadowed past, and I can only hope I'm there.
You tried to satisfy the thirst of a thousand ages,
But built a stack of bones as your monument to dead vanity.
It's just a shrine to the words you use to wreck.

Tell me, How can you sleep?
How can you just welcome the wine and throw out your nets?
You throw out your nets and set fame to bait the noose. Set fame to derail what's innocent.
Why spare the life of inglorious waste? Why let him live?
He's just hunting your own! How can you just sit there and watch?

"Because i love you more than you know. Look again and tell me what you see!"

In the window was me. The massacres were all me!
Oh God, please! Please! deliver the penalties for all of this from me.
I'm not finding justice, no warrant for mercy...
Don't give up on me. Don't give up on me!
What happens when I turn and run again? And again, and again?
"I will forgive you."
And what happens when I lie to your face?
"I will forgive you."
Oh my God, I can be so defiant to some one who's arms stretch to me.
"I will forgive."
Don't give up on me! Don't give up on me!
"I have forgiven you!"

I'll awake to new purpose to fight this body.
No longer will I play the dark shepherd.
Let not my words be ripped from the throat of a horror.
Oh, forgiver! Where is justice in letting me live?
| Oh, Sleeper - When I Am God |

Let me first warn you guys... This video is noisy. A Christian hardcore band that I just discovered. I love it.

Vices Like Vipers

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Your scarlet soaked and bold
and the sheep's eyes locked to mine, sink to my bones.
Though your lips still drip, intentions, they keep me wanting more...

It's rising against all the walls we built for falling.
All the walls we built just stand in vain to draw you near.
It's the wool to hide the wolves.
And under these toes from where we last spoke, Your words laid so firm.
But I did not shed that skin like You said.
When the mason neglects the mortar, looks become deceiving
and when the bricks start to fall,
I'll be the one crawling down this road so dark.

Vices like vipers
Speak in whispers.
My heel's the meat to sink their teeth,
Like the viper I kept when You said, "Let go!"
This is what it took for me to see.

WHEN I AM GOD this church is unsound.
Slithering in the shade of a sinking church,
Surprise is no excuse for the traps that you left in the wake of warning.
So this is the warning, You fall to learn.

And to the girls,
You're worth more than the cheap words.
You see your body as beauty, but your pulse is worth more.

Hear me, it's not what it seems, though the feeding tastes of honesty.
This is the warning, you're just a hit to coax my urgency.

Why do we keep what holds us? Why do I keep what holds me down?
Lose the weight of defeat. It's time to stand your ground!

Vices like vipers
Speak in whispers.
My heel's the meat to sink their teeth,
Like the viper
I kept when You said, "Let go!"

Since all the alibis of ignorance are void...
This, my lust, the pornos and the sluts.
Take, my lust, this world's Love.
Great Counselor, take what's left.
Great Counselor, take what's left of me

Praise God! Just got back from a wonderful session with Reverend Mark Hankins. I really needed that time of refreshing! There's nothing like someone catching your attention and then directing it on God Himself! Everything else simply pales in comparison.

I was getting slightly disillusioned this past week. Last night, I had the weirdest experience. I was about to go into my room to read my bible when I suddenly had a sickeningly claustrophobic nauseating feeling. I felt that I had to get out of the house. So in less than 15 minutes, I washed up, changed, packed my bible into my sling bag and walked out of the house. Went to the esplanade to watch Sky In Euphoria and A Vacant Affair. Spent just under 2 hours at Mac's reading 1 Peter 1:1-12.

I received a T-shirt and an Ang Pow that my mom's friend dropped off outside our house when I got home just now. Its amazing how God surprises you with gifts. He even provides clothing. :) Mom paid for some facial products that I bought at marine parade today. God bless her!

Had a scrape with a lorry today too. The silly driver tried to squeeze past our Toyota Wish at the entrance of the carpark. Because of other vehicles parked along the road, we had to manoeuvre our vehicles to allow each other to pass. But because of his impatience / recklessness, he scraped the end of my bumper while passing. It was amazing how fast I got out of the car. I was angry that he had marred my 'driving record'. Thankfully, there was no serious damage done.

This incident reminds me of the football match we had 2 Sundays ago. It seems there maybe many different opinions regarding this topic. It is my habit in any football match to make an impression on the opponent by being aggressive early in the game so that the opponents don't take advantage of you through the rest of the match. So anyway, there was this instance where I was charging goalwards with the ball and I got tackled from behind. The referee had blown for a freekick to be given but I wanted the defender to know I wasn't pleased so I walked towards him, asking what was his problem and nudged him with my knee. I admit that I overreacted slightly with that. Later on, there was another instance with the same defender. This time he had the ball and was running towards our goal. I noticed that we were almost outnumbered in defence so I tugged his shirt to get the foul so that our team could get back to defend.

During the half-time break, one of my elder teammates said that when he saw me tugging the jersey, he was hoping that I'd be sent off. He was trying to make a point and he went on to say that as salt and light of the world, we have to be an example to others. I agree with him totally. My question is whether Christians can show displeasure or disapproval? Can Christians make intentional tactical fouls?

I love being in the midst of believers. I love being with worshippers who have a desire for more of God. I love talking about the Word and discussing about God exploits. During my chat with Joshua today, we were going through Ephesians. My eyes were skimming over the words and rested on verse 25 of chapter 4.

Therefore, having put away falsehood,
let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor,
for we are members one of another

I used to think that the purpose of this verse was simply to teach children or new believers the importance of not telling lies. But doing that would be to insult the apostle Paul's intelligence. Paul had just finished exhorting the Ephesians to put off the old ways of life. In verse 23, He talks about being renewed in the spirit of your minds. How to be renewed in the mind? Verse 25 says "THEREFORE put away falsehood". Put away thoughts and keep yourself from saying things like "I can't do it", "I'm not good enough", "I'll never amount to anything great".

Instead, speak the truth! Do it with your neighbour. Members of the body of Christ have to encourage and edify one another right? What better way than to speak truth? What greater truth is there than the word of God? What is the truth?
Verse 21 says,

...assuming you have heard about Him and were taught in Him,
as the truth is IN JESUS.

The truth is knowing who you are in Jesus, what we have in Jesus and what we can do in Jesus. These things, when we talk about them often will strengthen us. Verse 29 says that such is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Why did I emphasise the words "as fits the occasion"? Why are these words so important?
Truth is not meant spoken AT one another. The right word is to be spoken at the right time.

When I was doing my reservist training, there was a period of time where we were waiting for our turn to practice with some equipment. The area was full of gravel and one of my friends challenged me to hit a red rock a few metres away with a stone. We tried for a few minutes but couldn't hit it. In mock frustration, I scooped up a handful of stones and hurled it towards the red rock. To my amazement and their amusement, none of the stones made contact with the red rock.

In the same way, many believers are counselling in this way. When a person comes to them with a problem, we start quoting verse after verse at them hoping that one of the verses would 'make contact.' God revealed to me that He works differently. God is precise. A single word can minister healing and deliverance. A single word can encourage and break bondage.

God knows exactly whats wrong and He deals with the problem the way an experienced surgeon with a sharp instrument does. How do we become effective instruments? By looking at Him and listening to Him and obeying the Word. Jesus was the most effective minister ever and yet He said, "Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does, that the Son does likewise."

Shouldn't we be keeping our eyes peeled on the Father? Following the instructions stated in the Word of God? Imitating the nature of God and His Son?

Yes! I'm back in school! Its such a joy to be with believers who want to learn more. Such a joy, such a joy! The last week was spent at having "reservist" training. Such a waste of time that I almost doubted my decision to take leave of absence from the first week of school. Well, I praise God for His faithfulness during the week. Being back in the same camp reminded me of the listlessness and boredom. It reminded me of how great His outpouring of grace was during the 2 years of National Service. I almost couldn't handle being in camp for the first 2 days.

Thank God that I managed to get a half day off on Wednesday to return to school. It was so timely and being in school and in His presence made me confident that I had made the right decision. Better is one day in His courts! Better to be in His presence than to be anywhere else. He reminded me that I never need to be out of His presence. Time spent in His presence is NEVER wasted time.

Nepal has left me speechless. The Nepalese are quite a beautiful people. They are decent and polite to foreigners. Their eyes, deep and intense. They need to know Jesus. I think everyone from the group could sense it as well. Charmaine brought up a good point when she said that there was so much more for them than just living and working to survive. Nothing much bad about them other than their devilish driving and the incessant horning on the roads.

I think I'm beginning to understand being in the grace of God and relying totally on His strength. There were things that could never have been done without Him. So many things that could have gone wrong, people who could have gotten hurt and people who could have gotten lost. But He made everything turn out right.

On the first night, after shopping for sleeping bags, some of us wanted to go to buy some bottles of water and snacks. So there were 8 of us who split into 2 taxis to go to the supermarket. But when we reached the supermarket, the taxi with Keith, Elissa, Georgina and Nathalie had not arrived. Gloria and I were slightly panicky and we were praying individually that nothing would go wrong. After 30 minutes of waiting, walking and searching, we saw them trudging up to us holding grocery bags in their hands. Their taxi driver had dropped them at the wrong supermarket. Thank God that before we got on the taxis, we were joking about the the location of the supermarket and it made them remember the name. God is good!

On the 2nd day, we were on the bus up to Phulbari and we ran out of fuel. So we were stranded in the middle of the road halfway up. We could have gotten frustrated and irritated at the bus drivers but I really praise God that the team stayed positive. We had our first glimpse of the Himalyan skyline because of that incident. We climbed up onto a plateau where we could enjoy the scenery while waiting for the driver's assistant to fetch petrol. I believe that even when things go wrong because of man's foolishness, God turns it around for our benefit.

They had a church service on Thursday because that was their day off. Church was just a small dark room at the back of their store / cooking area. We could not all fit in. I loved it when they started to worship God. It was like tribal rhythmic singing. Just voices with a single percussion instrument. But the presence of God was fantastic. There was this one little boy, the evangelist's son singing his heart out. A beautiful passionate voice.

The times of worship in Nepal were heavenly. Peter put it the best in Acts 10:34.

Truly I understand that God shows no partiality,
but in every nation anyone who fears him
and does what is right is acceptable to him.

The word fear means to be in awe, to show heartfelt respect or in modern day terms, it simply means to worship. There was such a strong anointing for renewal and for the nation of Nepal in our prayers and worship. I remember Georgina leading us in a fantastic time in His presence. God showed us in verses like Psalms 95:1-5 and Isaiah 40:28-31 the depth of His grace and strength. It would be the recurring theme for the entire trip. It is my prayer that the grace and strength of God be visible constantly in my life. That means never again relying on my own efforts. Never again trying to achieve but always accomplishing for His Glory.

I pray that just like the sunrise in the mountains. The glory of God will shine through me and many others into the full glory of His return. I pray that His glory will illuminate the beauty in others and in me. Beauty is seen when things around reflect the sunlight. Father in all I do, it is your light that has to be seen. That is utmost.

~~~ You are faithful ~~~
Lord of all the earth
how You care for me
You have made me
You will save and carry me always

You are faithful
Your joy is my strength

Lord You are my God
I rely on You
I put my hope in things not seen
Your promises all true

Always You’re with me
Your hand will lift me
My trust is in Your hands
| Hillsong - Saviour King |

I meant to blog about this sooner but the Nepal fundraising event in church and Facebook have been taking up much of my time. Poor excuses, I know.

I wanted to go into more detail about what the Lord showed me about Psalms 63 almost a month ago in prayer school. It occurred to me that by grouping verse 1 & verse 5, verses 2 & 6, verses 3 & 7, verses 4 & 8, we would get a clearer picture of what the Holy Spirit was trying to communicate. Written by David in the wilderness of Judah, you can hear the cry in his words.

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you,
as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

Look at the words used to communicate his desire. The word translated as "Earnestly" or "Early" seems to describe a desperate need that can only be satisfied by constant, relentless waiting on Him. The closest I may have come to that feeling is after a soccer match in the heat of the afternoon. Where you feel that every cell in your body is screaming for hydration. Lynette asked a valid question during prayer meeting on Friday. She talked about being hungry for more of God. How many of us have experienced something like that? How many can truly say that we've thirsted till we've almost fainted?

Which brings me to the point.
My God is irresistible. More desirable than any treasure or jewellery.
Why is desire for God on such a low?
My God is limitless. He cannot be overdrawn, overtaxed, overwhelmed.
If you don't see a need for God, then you must not know God very well.
My God is huge. Bigger than any disaster, mishap, natural or otherwise.
If you knew my God, you would desire for more Him.

Its as logical as can be. Thats why movies have trailers, products have advertisements and superstars have posters. To inform about SOME of the things that we should expect. To give us a taste of things to come so as to WHET our appetite.

What is this dry and weary land with no water? Some people might answer, "Oh its when we're going through difficult times," or "When we're having the 'wilderness' experience," or some smarter people might try to say, "Any time that we're not in church."
To me, it is any moment apart from God. Any moment that we're not in His presence is a dry and weary place.

As I've mentioned before in the last post, verse 5 is like an immediate result of being in that position. When you earnestly desire Him it says that:

My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,

I don' t know about you, but I like seeing and being assured of the outcome. I will be satisfied and I will praise! Fat and rich food actually carries the meaning of abundance, to be blessed or to have the best of the land. There is a new testament equivalent in Matthew 5:6 which says:

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they shall be satisfied.

Verses 2 & 6 can be read together and would look like this:

So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
beholding your power and glory.
When I remember you upon my bed,
and meditate on you in the watches of the night;

We see here one of the keys of tapping on the promise of satisfaction. Notice here that looking, beholding, remembering, meditating are basically the same thing. Immerse yourself in knowledge about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Think about the things you learnt in prayer meeting, speak freely with Him throughout the day, ponder about the things of God during your meal times, thank Him for His promises before you sleep. I used to think that doing so would render one irrelevant to the world. But nothing could be further from the truth! This is what the world needs! The world is crying out for people who truly know God and can guide them into His presence.

We know from 1 John 4:8, 16 that God is Love. 1 John 4:9 says that through Jesus Christ, love was made manifest, or love appeared! So when verse 3 & 6 speaks about God's steadfast love, it is actually speaking about Jesus.

Because your steadfast love is better than life,
my lips will praise you.
for you have been my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.

His steadfast love is better than life! His steadfast love, Jesus, has been my help! My lips will praise Jesus and in the shadow of his wings, I will sing for joy. Why? Because Jesus is better than life. As Jesus says in John 10:10(KJV), "I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." Jesus is life.
What prevents us from drawing closer to Him?

So I will bless you as long as I live;
in your name I will lift up my hands.
My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.

Verse 8 talks about clinging to Jesus. I feel that this English word doesn't do the original justice. The same word is used to describe the relationship between a man and his wife in Genesis 2:24. Some translations use the word "cleave to". This verse is then quoted 4 times in the New Testament by Jesus and Paul. (Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:7; 1 Corinthians 6:16; Ephesians 5:31)
It would mean that our relationship with God could be compared to a loving, pure, healthy, sexual union between a man and a woman.
There is also a sweet connection between the second lines of both verses. As I lift up my hands in His Name, He upholds me in His right hand! Isn't that beautiful?

If we want to be satisfied more deeply, we must desire Him so much more.
If we want to desire Him more, we must know Him so much more.
If we want to know Him more, we must be carried away by His Word.

And Daryl entered into a covenant to seek the LORD, the God of his fathers, with all his heart and with all his soul, and Daryl rejoiced over the oath, for he had sworn with all his heart and had sought Him with his whole desire, and He was found by Daryl, and the LORD gave him rest all around.
| 2 Chronicles 15:12,14,15 |

This verse is encouraging me so much. This weekend has been spiritually and physically draining. Its not that I can't take the pressure. I've not been given anything new to handle. Its more like I'm not used to being challenged on so many fronts. I'm not doubting the Word of God and I don't think I'm lacking in faith. Its times like this, you just wish that Jesus would show up. If you spend the whole week 'serving' and then feel so far from Him, you begin to wonder. Am I really serving Him in the first place?

Maybe this is where the training really starts. This is where the rubber hits the road. Putting into practice the things that I've learnt. Its not the activities that I need to focus on completing, lessons that i need to focus on teaching, points and ideas which I need to get across. The focus should be to search after God with all my desire. Only then is there a true rest.

Psalms 63:1 --> O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

Do you see the level of desire? As if I would die without it.

Psalms 63:5 --> My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips.

This is the result of that desire. Satisfaction.
I don't mean to be disrespectful to God in any way. But honestly? I am not satisfied yet.